Flashbacks
Flashbacks are memories of past traumas. During a flashback a survivor may feel like she is re-experiencing the assault at that moment. What is frightening for her is that during a flashback, she feels small, incapable of stopping the assault, and forced to experience it over and over again. She is not in control.
Flashbacks can take many forms, including pictures, sounds, body sensations, feelings or numbness. Sometimes there is just a sense of panic and a feeling of powerless. Some flashbacks happen like a dream, as though the survivor is watching a movie about someone else. No matter how the flashback comes on, the experience is intense, upsetting and often traumatizing. The survivor often feels completely out of control and may fear that she is going insane. She may avoid telling people about the experience because she fears she won’t be believed.
What are flashbacks?
*They are a vivid re-experiencing of the emotions and sensations of the assault and at the same time a lack of recognition of present safety.
*They are not hallucinations or psychotic episodes.
*They are often triggered by sights, sounds, smells, or events.
Flashbacks can greatly impact on a survivor’s life. To avoid a flashback, it is common for a survivor to steer clear of situations and objects that she feels are triggers. Her avoidance is confining because triggers can be anything. Triggers can be smells, sights, textures, or people. Triggers are often normal life experiences or "rites of passage" such as marriage, the birth of a baby, or a death - especially the death of the perpetrator. Flashbacks can also be triggered by a sexual encounter, such as the way a lover touches a survivor, how a partner's breath feels against the survivor’s skin, or the look or feel of a particular sexual act. In essence, flashbacks are out of the survivor’s control, they come without warning and consume her completely.
Flashbacks are generally frightening, astonishing, painful, and overwhelming for a person to watch or hear. If a caller is experiencing a flashback, know that it is normal to feel intimidated by the intensity of the pain and drama. In such a situation there are grounding techniques that you can use to bring the survivor back to the present. These grounding techniques can be found on the next page.
Grounding Techniques for Flashbacks
1. Tell yourself you are having a flashback.
2. Find a place where you are safe. Before a flashback think of some "safe places." Then, when you are about to have a flashback, go to one of your "safe places."
3. Remind yourself it’s just a memory. The abuse is over, you survived and you are safe. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are memories from the past.
4. Get grounded. Connect to the present by putting your feet squarely on the floor; stamping your feet; feeling the chair you are sitting in.
5. Breathe. When we get scared we stop breathing normally. Our body then begins to panic from lack of oxygen. Take deep, big breathes from your diaphragm.
6. Use your senses. Use your five senses to make yourself aware of your surroundings. Show yourself that you are in a safe place. Hear the present sounds. Take deep breaths and smell the air. Feel your body and what it is touching.
7. Don’t fight it. Don’t use drugs, alcohol or food to push the flashback away.
8. Get support. Call a support person. You may want to be with someone you trust before, during, or after the flashback. If you prefer to be alone, that’s okay too.
9. Create a boundary. Sometimes during a flashback it feels as though you do not have any skin, you don’t know where you begin or stop. Wrap yourself in a blanket, anything that will make you feel protected from the outside.
10. Take time to recover. Flashbacks are painful and draining. It may take awhile to recover. Give yourself time to feel better and stronger again.
11. Comfort yourself. Do something special to take care of yourself, take a bath, a nap, or cuddle with a pet or stuffed animal. Be gentle with yourself; appreciate how much you went through. Do not beat yourself up for having a flashback.
12. Honour your experience. Appreciate yourself for surviving. Recognize your courage and strength. You are doing a great job getting through this experience.
13. Be patient. It takes time to heal the past. It takes time to feel strong again and feel able to cope. It is difficult for all survivors, not just you.
14. Find a competent therapist. Look for a therapist who understands violence against women. A therapist can be a guide, support, and coach while you heal. You don’t have to do it alone.